Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Archaeologists RIP
In July, Feedback reported that geologist characters in movies were surprisingly likely to die, often from 鈥渨ork related鈥� causes like volcanic eruptions, but remarkably frequently by murder. We wondered how other scientists fared.
Andrew Hardwick flags The Avengers 鈥� not the Marvel superheroes, but the British spy series from the 1960s. 鈥淎ny character introduced as a scientist was certain to be killed off,鈥� Andrew says, due to the limited budget for hiring guest actors. 鈥淓xposition characters had to double up as victims or villains.鈥� Feedback briefly considered performing an analysis to estimate the scientist death toll, but then we learned that the show ran for 161 hour-long episodes and decided we had better things to do.
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Meanwhile, David Hawke pulls us up on a detail. We claimed that one indicator a character will die is that he is played by Sean Bean. David argues that Bean鈥檚 breakout role was the heroic Richard Sharpe, in the TV adaptations of Bernard Cornwell鈥檚 historical novels. While some of Bean鈥檚 characters 鈥渕eet their doom鈥�, David says, 鈥渟urely playing Sharpe more than compensates for this鈥�. Feedback feels David underestimates just how often Bean dies on screen. A spanning 1986 to 2016 shows him meeting his maker no fewer than 24 times.
However, our main focus here is a missive from Andy Chapman. 鈥淎s a now retired archaeologist I feel fortunate to have made it this far,鈥� he writes, 鈥済iven the film death rate for archaeologists.鈥� They are particularly likely to die in films involving Egyptian mummies. 鈥淗ere the death rate must approach 100 per cent, with only the heroic/romantic leads exempted, but often not their trusted assistants.鈥�
Andy鈥檚 argument rests in part on the Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider films, alongside the various incarnations of The Mummy. Andy notes 鈥渁n unhealthy death rate鈥� in many of these franchises, albeit with a caveat. 鈥淢uch of this would apply to people unlikely to be regarded as qualified archaeologists, as I don鈥檛 believe training in weapons and explosives feature on the syllabus of many archaeology departments.鈥�
Andy鈥檚 more sedate approach to the field appears to have kept him safe. He spent his time 鈥渨orking largely in British commercial archaeology ahead of quarrying and construction projects鈥�, which tended to yield less treasure or cursed swords, and more 鈥渂oxes of broken pottery and animal bone鈥�. Such finds, informative as they are, 鈥渄on鈥檛 often lead to homicide鈥�.
Reprogram yourself
Feedback is feeling a bit wiped out from the alleged 鈥渟ummer holidays鈥�, which just mean we have to work while also ferrying Feedback Jr to their various social engagements. So we wanted a wellbeing hack, and reader Graham Lansdell was on hand to tell us about one. Through a convoluted sequence of events, Graham had become aware of GEOTRAN, 鈥渁 coding language for the inner bio-computers鈥�.
Promisingly, the official website that 鈥淕EOTRAN is a numeric-geometrical dialect which speaks directly to the body鈥檚 information fields (memory fields). It works similarly to entering new information into a computer system. By erasing subconscious, self-sabotage, and de-stressing blockages resulting from personal beliefs, early childhood programming, fears, and traumatic experiences, you can reformat for a better life!鈥�
This sounded like just the ticket. Feedback could do with a bit of mind-body reprogramming to regain our usual mild levels of vim and vigour. So we .
We learned that, unlike conventional binary computers, 鈥淭he GEOTRAN language uses twelve digits (1 through 12)鈥�. Apparently, 鈥渢hese number codes create the actual instructions for the field to make a correction to the existing programming. The geometry locates the place where the dysfunction is stored, and the number makes the correction.鈥�
It seems that GEOTRAN instructions must be 鈥渆ntered at specific points, called 鈥榮pin points,鈥� on and around the body鈥�. These instructions are then 鈥渇ed to the heart/mind which has 7 layers or 7 different functions. The heart/mind distributes this information to 12 rings that operate somewhat like a CD, which also holds coded data that is read by light.鈥�
Alas, due to our exhaustion, Feedback was unable to comprehend the instructions. In a bid to hack our system, we tapped our arm a few times to see if it helped, but so far it hasn鈥檛.
It鈥檚 a gas
In our quest for ever-more-niche scientific tourist attractions, we keep finding museums dedicated to gas. Upon reading our item about Fakenham Gasworks Museum (1 August), Daphne Tighe experienced a stirring memory. 鈥淚 was at grammar school 1940-1945 when there was not much scope for exciting outings,鈥� she tells us. 鈥淥ne I remember was arranged by the science teacher to Horsham gas works.鈥� Daphne has no plans to visit any of the modern equivalents, because 鈥淚 can still remember the smell鈥�.
Meanwhile, Chris Kendall tells us about Leicester, UK, home to the National Gas Museum. Its website claims it is 鈥渢he world鈥檚 largest and most significant gas history collection鈥�, and also that it is shut until 22 September 2026. 鈥淚s it any good, you ask?鈥� says Chris. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know. Despite being a short walk from where I live, I鈥檝e never been interested enough to go and see.鈥�
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