FEEDBACK was recently in Prague for an airline conference. The major airlines are all looking for someone or something to blame for the slump in their business (the much lower fares offered by airlines like EasyJet, Go and Ryanair don鈥檛 count, of course).
Fear of flying was high on the blame list. Dutch clinic VALK, which works with the airline KLM to reassure people that it is safe to fly, reckons that on any aircraft at least one-third of the passengers are frightened. This is not a new problem caused by the 11 September attacks. Fear of heights is an old frightener. Last year, KLM had to fly a total of 12 people back from Greece because airports there expected them to walk down an open stairway to the tarmac.
Feedback flew to the conference via the Netherlands, and travelled part of the way by one of KLM鈥檚 little business commuter planes. As the plane flew over the sea, we realised there had not been the usual life-jacket drill before take-off. And there was no life jacket in the usual place under the seat.
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鈥淚t鈥檚 the regulations,鈥� explained the stewardess cheerily when asked. 鈥淲e are travelling over water for less than 90 kilometres, so we don鈥檛 need life jackets.鈥�
Back home safe and dry, we checked with KLM. 鈥淚 was not aware of that,鈥� admitted a customer relations spokeswoman. 鈥淒id you encounter any problems?鈥�
Resisting the temptation to say 鈥測es, but we were able to swim鈥�, we simply asked for confirmation of what the stewardess had said. 鈥淲hen the distance coast to coast is less than 50 nautical miles, life jackets are not needed,鈥� we were told.
The implication being that the airline industry thinks all its passengers are able to swim up to 45 kilometres in the cold waters of the North Sea鈥攕hould the plane not manage to glide across. No wonder all those people who are afraid of flying.
WHICH REMINDS us that WestJet, a discount airline in Canada, has been promoting its new automated check-in, which uses touch-sensitive computer terminals. The service is being advertised as 鈥淭ouch and Go Travel鈥�.
HERE are the ingredients in a pack of Tesco supermarket鈥檚 鈥淗ealthy Eating鈥� bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches: 鈥淏rown bread with oatmeal (44 per cent) (wheat flour; water; wheat bran; rolled oats; wheat protein; yeast; salt; sugar; treacle; oat fibre; malt flour; vinegar; oatmeal; vegetable fibre; fruit juice concentrate; modified maize starch; emulsifier: mono- & di-acetyltartaric esters of mono- & di-glycerides of fatty acids; flavouring; flour treatment agent; ascorbic acid); sweetcure bacon (15 per cent) (pork; honey glucose syrup; stabilisers; sodium triphosphates; calcium dihydrogen diphosphates; sodium polyphosphates; antioxidant: sodium ascorbate; preservative: sodium nitrite), tomato (14 per cent), Iceberg lettuce (11 per cent), low fat dressing (10 per cent) (water; dried skimmed milk; modified maize starch; spirit vinegar; sugar; white wine vinegar; salt; dextrose; white pepper; dried egg white; acidity regulator: sodium acetate; mustard flour; sodium chloride; preservatives: lactic acid, sorbic acid; colour: titanium dioxide; stabilisers: sodium bicarbonate, xanthan gum, sodium alginate; garlic powder), low-fat spread (water; vegetable oil; hydrogenated vegetable oil; salt; milk proteins; stabiliser: sodium alginate; emulsifiers: mono & di-glycerides of fatty acids, polyglycerol polyricinoleate; flavouring; vitamin A, vitamin D; colour: beta-carotene).鈥�
Healthy, no doubt, but not what we鈥檇 call a mouth-watering selection of ingredients.
WE鈥橰E BEGINNING beginning to wonder how much respect the teaching staff at Queen鈥檚 University, Belfast, have for the intelligence of the doctors of the future. The study guide for first year medical students contains the following: 鈥淟ook at the patients鈥� surroundings for clues about their problems. A walking stick or Zimmer frame suggests difficulty walking, for example.鈥�
PSEUDO-SCIENCE coinage of the week comes from the Claremont filling station in Ashbourne, County Meath, Ireland. A flyer advertising the garage鈥檚 services includes this attraction: 鈥淪uper car wash, now with reverse osmosis for an even better rinse!鈥�
We wonder what other applications could be found for this interesting technology.
SMOKERS in the US who are still desperately trying to quit after the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) banned sales of lollipops and lip balm containing nicotine may get another chance in July when Nico Water hits the shelves.
A California firm named Quick Test Five has created this latest 鈥渟moking cessation aid鈥� by adding 4 milligrams of nicotine to half a litre of ordinary water. The idea is that smokers can drink the water鈥攚hich tastes like nothing else but water鈥攚hile getting as much nicotine as they would from a stick of nicotine gum.
The FDA is still considering whether to permit Quick Test Five to market Nico Water, but it has already told the company it cannot label it a 鈥渄ietary supplement鈥�, which was the firm鈥檚 first plan. Nicotine is, after all, toxic and addictive. The FDA has told Quick Test Five鈥檚 lawyer that it 鈥渕ust instead be marketed as a conventional food鈥�.
A RECENT headline in the Sheffield Telegraph caused anxiety to mathematicians among the paper鈥檚 readership. 鈥淧lans to change shape of square,鈥� it said.
But then it went on: 鈥淪trategies for reviving Tudor Square were revealed this week, ranging from a 鈥渟pider鈥檚 web鈥� structure鈥o the creation of water features and giant animated figures.鈥�
CONTAINERS of CIL ant poison display the following puzzling wording on the front of the pack: 鈥淐IL ant trap kills ants. Ants enter traps and carry bait back to their nest鈥攗sually kills entire colony. Warning: May contain peanuts.鈥�
FINALLY, thanks to reader Guy Robinson for drawing our attention to the title of a paper by Kathryn Winiarski, published in National Wildlife (vol 35). It is about sea life, and is called 鈥淔riends and anemones鈥�.
