Å®ÉúСÊÓƵ

Employees of St Martin’s Press in the US received an unusual request
in an interoffice memo from one of their managers the other day.

‘As many of you may be aware,’ the memo states, ‘we will be publishing
in March of 1994 a new trade paperback called Knitting with Dog Hair. The
two authors, Kendall Crolius and Anne Montgomery, are busily making dog
hair bookmarks, which will be used by colleagues in publicity, but demand
for the bookmarks has been so great that we are now facing a serious shortage
of dog hair.

‘The authors have asked me to send out a request to the entire company
asking that anyone with a dog please save this hair for use as bookmarks
. . . ‘

The memo goes on to specify what kind of hair is wanted and what should
be done with it. For example: ‘Please place dog hair in a zip-locked plastic
bag . . . Label each plastic bag of hair with the breed . . . Do not remove
dog hair from the vacuum cleaner. This is not bona fide dog hair, since
it has been combined with other dirt . . . A fistful of hair is the minimum
amount that the authors can use . . . ‘

And just in case employees are left in any doubt, the memo concludes:
‘We are seriously running low on dog hair, and would appreciate your cooperation.’

* * *

Palaeontologists have been around for much longer than you might think.
The front cover of the Natural History Museum’s Christmas catalogue features
a dinosaur’s footprint. The caption tells us that it is a ‘Genuine Theropod
footprint found in north-eastern Thailand 65 million years ago’. Sadly,
the catalogue doesn’t tell us who found it

* * *

There are, a Viennese psychologist reports, significant differences
between men and women. With funding from the Austrian Ministry for Science
and Research and the Culture Division of the City of Vienna, Norbert Siegl
spent months studying the ‘gender-specific differences in frequency and
thematic content’ of the graffiti in the toilets at the University of
Vienna.

According to the German news weekly Stern, Siegl, whose wife, Sylvia
Schmiere, visited the ladies while he was busy in the gents, found that
56 per cent of male graffiti incorporated political commentary, versus
just 7.45 per cent for women. And racist comments of the ‘Turks out’ variety
were only found in men’s rooms.

Siegl also found that interpersonal relationships are less frequently
mentioned by men (19.27 per cent), and even when they do venture into
this alien territory, ‘the human element’ is missing: women are, in both
prose and graphic depictions, ‘reduced to sex objects’.

The sexes came together in one respect. They left equal amounts of graffiti
dealing with what Siegl calls ‘their primary reason for the visit to this
±ô´Ç³¦²¹³Ù¾±´Ç²Ô’.

Siegl points to an important predecessor in this area who was also Viennese.
Sigmund Freud found in 1910 that toilet graffiti were an important source
of information on sexuality. But new synthetic coatings, scratchproof and
washable, may deny the next generation of researchers their archival sources.

* * *

If you’re in your 40s, or even older, you may be able to remember the
first hand-held electronic calculators. In 1969, Sharp unveiled their QT-8
at an electrical engineering convention in New York. The calculator could
add, subtract, multiply and divide, weighed about a kilogram, and sold for
just $495.

That was one of the first shots in a war of constant downsizing, downpricing
and upfunctioning that has led to solar – powered, credit card-sized devices
that could calculate the mortgage for Canary Wharf, and are so cheap that
you don’t feel guilty reaching into your mate’s desk and nicking his when
you can’t find your own.

The latest in calculators, though, is the inevitable outbreak of nostalgia,
and this is where a new newsletter, International Calculator Collector
comes in. Apparently, a lot (actually, a handful) of people around the world
(actually, they all seem to be in California) never threw away their Busicom,
Caltronic, or Electrodata calculators, and the little wizards have now become
‘collectables’. For just $12, payable to Wilson/Barnett Publishing, 14561
Liv-ingston St, Tustin, CA 92680, you can get the first issue of the newsletter
(a collector’s item itself).

* * *

Corresponding on electronic mail can be a bit soulless. It’s more impersonal
than the phone, since you can’t hear your friend’s voice, and you can’t
even see your correspondent’s handwriting. But now, to get their feelings
across, e-mail devotees can send smileys. Just incline your head to the
left:

:-) I’m smiling ‘-) wink :-( I’m frowning :-) I have a moustache :*)
I am drunk :-O wow! :-X a big wet kiss @:-) I’m wearing a turban

The full list can be seen by e-mail, naturally, in doc/misc/smiley,
atux1. cso. uiuc. edu, according to World Wide Web News-letter – which also
advises us that writing in capital letters in e-mail is considered to be
shouting, and SHOULD BE AVOIDED.

* * *

Finally, a reminder to rush in your entries for Feedback’s Christmas
competition. You are invited to help us to compile a shopping list of ideal
Christmas presents for famous individuals. Examples might be: for Alan Turing,
a pocket calculator; for Robinson Crusoe, solar panels; for Icarus, a hang
glider.

You may submit up to five suggestions for the shopping list. The 25
winning entries will each receive a tasting pack of the Classic Malt collection
of six of Scotland’s finest single malt whiskies, together with tasting
notes and a tasting video. The competition closes on Friday 3 December and
no entries will be accepted after that date – so don’t delay. The editor’s
decision on the winners is final.