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‘Come and hear John Emsley pour cold water over the greenhouse effect,’
said the invitation to a talk at last week’s science festival in Southampton.
Put like that, how could Feedback resist?

Here was New Å®ÉúСÊÓƵ’s own eminent chemist and scholar, now writer
in residence at London’s Imperial College no less, prepared to put his neck
on the line. It was all part of Imperial’s Outreach Programme, which aims
to introduce young people to the wonders of science and technology, and
John himself is certainly a great science populariser.

So it was indeed a thrill to hear the column’s friend and colleague
snapping away at his friends and colleagues in the media in true dog eat
dog style. How could the media do it, asked John, all that misinformation
and propaganda about carbon dioxide from the burning of fossil fuels, such
as oil and petrol, being chiefly responsible for global warming?

The hypothesis may have kept many in the science community busy, he
went on, but that isn’t a good enough reason to listen to them. Talk about
inciting a guilt complex, John certainly knows how.

Carbon dioxide is not such a problem, he told his young audience and
the sulking hacks at the back. There’s a much more important greenhouse
gas; it’s the hot air that journalists emit when they don’t know what they’re
talking about and mangle scientific information.

Feedback was chastened, and grateful to Shell for sponsoring the diatribe.
After all, here’s a company with a lot on its hands – pumping oil and manufacturing
petrol – that can still find time to educate the next generation.

* * *

Another oil company, BP International, may be disappointed with the
coverage of its four speakers, who were lined up to talk on ‘Chemistry in
the Oil Industry’. The lectures were neatly packaged, but on the cover of
each pamphlet it said: ‘Presented at the British Association Science Festival
’92, Southampton, 25th September 1992.’ Naturally, the press will respect
the embargo.

* * *

The BA is a chance to catch up with the very latest advances in science.
Stephen Swithenby of the Open University told us about a hyper-sensitive
magnetic detector, capable of picking up the faintest of magnetic fields,
such as those produced in the body by the heart beating or by brainwaves.

During one demonstration Swithenby picked up a beautiful sinusoidal
signal, but it wasn’t coming from his subject. Finally, after a five-minute
search, he found a man in the front row swinging his foot. The signal was
coming from his metal toecap.

* * *

One of the more glamorous events of the week began at Southampton’s
Arena and continued as the participants glided gracefully across the waters
of The Solent. The venue was a 60-foot (20-metre) yacht, which is due to
embark later this month on a round-the-world race. The vessel is identical
to its nine competitors and the race, organised by British Steel, aims
to test the skill of crews rather than yacht designers. Our boat bears the
name ‘Nuclear Electric’ after its sponsor. ‘Where are the fuel rods?’ asked
one of the nautically minded journalists.

The notion of large quantities of radioactive substances aboard yachts
is not so funny as it may sound, chimed in our host Ian Fells, the genial
professor of energy conversion at the University of Newcastle. Time was
when the heavy weight of depleted uranium made it a fashionable material
for making keels. But the practice fell abruptly from favour after a bright
spark with a knowledge of chemistry pointed out that uranium is soluble
in sea water.

* * *

Prize for the joke of the week goes to Gordon Higginson of the University
of Southampton. During a talk on bio-materials he flashed up a picture of
two skaters to indicate ‘bits’ that might be replaced with artificial implants.

Referring to the fact that the male had his arm around his female partner,
he conjectured that he might well have been saying: ‘What’s a joint like
this doing in a nice girl like you?’

* * *

Frankness was a much-displayed virtue at this year’s BA. Among the soundbites
of the week were:

‘First I must apologise for the ridiculously pretentious title of my
³Ù²¹±ô°ì.’

‘Economists can contribute little to the discussion of this year’s theme
of oceans.’

‘In many ways, it must be admitted, the 16th century is a mess.’

Of course, the point of the BA is to contribute to the greater public
understanding of science, to render the issues of the moment intelligible
in saloon bars throughout the land. It doesn’t always work: ‘Mesoscopic
systems, I will define, as physical regions within which carriers do not
suffer any quantum mechanical phase destroying collisions, bounded by regions
which can be described ‘classically’ and contacted by charge reservoirs
which act as a source and sink of carriers of energy.’

Feedback was left puzzling all the way to The Hedgehog, the pub around
the corner, which provided columnar staff with a welcome respite from the
rigours of the conference and occasional refreshment.

* * *

Not that the BA has changed that much. Here is how Punch recorded what
it called the ‘labours’ of one of the first ever annual meeting of the BA,
held in Plymouth in August 1851:

A day on the water, by way of excursion, A night at the playhouse, by
way of diversion, A morning assemblage of elegant ladies, A chemical lecture
on lemon and kalis, A magnificent dinner – the venison so tender,
Lots of wine, broken glasses – that’s all I remember.

* * *

Many thanks for the flood of entries you have sent in for the Feedback
summer competition. What an innovative lot you are! We have greatly enjoyed
reading all your ideas for inventions that haven’t been invented yet, and
must now apply ourselves to the difficult task of judging them. The winning
entries will be published in our issue of 19 September.