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The Channel Tunnel is a synonym for high technology. The world’s fastest
trains, the French TGVs, will zoom through the tunnel. And Eurotunnel is
keen to emphasise that people who take their cars on the shuttle trains
between the terminals of Cheriton in Kent and Sangatte in France will be
safeguarded by the latest technology which will prevent fires spreading
and the minimise the threat of terrorism.

So why are the sidings at Cheriton shuttle terminal built with an antique
type of rail more in keeping with the times of the first attempt to build
the Channel Tunnel back in the 1880s? This old type of rail is called bullhead
rail – it has a cross section like a figure of eight. Flat-bottomed rail
is the more modern type (although it too was invented in the last century).
It is better able to stand the strain of fast trains and heavy traffic.

Down at Cheriton, a spur off the British Rail line leads to the shuttle
terminal. A wicket gate divides British Rail’s land from Eurotunnel’s. The
spur is laid with flat-bottomed rail up to the gate, and bullhead rail beyond.

Major railways began to recognise the advantages of flat-bottomed rail
towards the end of the last century. By the 1920s many American and European
main lines had flat-bottomed rail. By the 1950s British Railways had caught
up with the rest of the world and began replacing its bullhead rail with
flat-bottomed rail. A spokesman for BR said: ‘Nowadays we even lay sidings
with flat-bottomed rail as a matter of policy.’ By the mid-1980s, even London
Transport moved into the 20th century and began replacing bullhead rail
on the underground with the flat-bottomed type – largely because no one
makes bullhead rail in Britain any more.

So over to Eurotunnel: why use bullhead rail? A spokeswoman said: ‘This
is temporary trackwork to assist in laying permanent track.’ But where did
they manage to find some bullhead rail? ‘If you want to know any more you’ll
have to ask Balfour Beatty.’

A spokesman for contractors Balfour Beatty said the rail was ‘second-hand’
but was not sure where the company had acquired it, adding: ‘We will be
taking up this track in a couple of months.’

* * *

What’s in a degree? No, it’s not a dig at John Major. Just that those
of us (here Feedback declares an interest) with slightly foxed bits of paper
from some university or another should know what they missed by being educated
before these exciting times.

Degrees are no longer just that bit of paper you get after three or
four years at the grindstone. Tomorrow’s degree, one from the University
of Bristol at least, could be a far more complex entity. According to the
university’s newsletter, ‘The basic building block is the unit. Some departments
may want to build courses as a set of modules, each module being in effect
one unit. The relations between the units are then defined by a structure
of necessary or optional links (prerequisites or corequisites) to satisfy
the requirements for the particular university award. Finally ‘credit point
value’ is given so that the relative importance of each in an overall course
can be assessed.’

Confused? As a guide, the newsletter publishes a glossary of the ‘new
terminology’. Here you can read that the ‘element’ is a ‘coherent body of
teaching’. ‘Each unit will comprise either one or more elements. Elements
are either compulsory or optional within units. The main feature of an element
is that the attendee (student) list for the complete duration of the same.’

So now you know.

* * *

Last week British Nuclear Fuels said it had become the first big British
company to offer its manual workers a 35-hour week. The news emerged as
one of Britain’s big tabloid newspapers went to town over the revelation
that a guide at BNFL’s visitor centre at Sellafield has been moonlighting
(under the name Whiplash) as the organiser of a lucrative business offering
various sexual services. Wags from other parts of the nuclear industry suggested
this was the real reason why the company was suggesting a short working
week – the workforce is clearly too exhausted to manage anything longer.

* * *

The Which Computer? show last month was a weird mix of old and new technology.
One stand boasted a banner reading, ‘As recommended by Nancy Reagan’s astrologer.’
Well, just so long as it tells you when someone is writing your biography.
Another featured newly reformatted American salesmen touting an electronic
Bible to a steady stream of dog-collared customers, some inquiring about
dealerships.

One intrepid visitor helpfully typed in the word ‘slave’, and went away
leaving some less savoury Biblical text glaring down as passers-by. When
she went back (to type in ‘adultery’) the system was being used for demonstrations,
and unavailable for uncontrolled research.

Six versions of the Bible, including the King James version (licence
granted under Crown copyright) are available, plus a computerised concordance,
multiple windows, notepad, word processor and dictionaries. Today’s high-tech
vicar can automatically insert learned references into his sermons while
his PC adds up the Sunday plate.

* * *

In case you had forgotten the vulturine habits of lawyers, a reminder
comes from Legal Studies and Services Ltd, advertising a seminar on the
European Bank for Reconstruction and Development. ‘The moral argument in
support of the Bank . . . is very persuading,’ it gushes. Then comes the
sting: ‘What tangible benefits can we as investors, developers, bankers
and lawyers derive from it?’ And you thought the idea was to clean up and
enrich Eastern Europe.